EPISODE 128 | Leaving and Deconstructing High-Control Religion with Tia Coffey
Watch Tia Coffey’s interview on Human Amplified with Brandi Fleck on YouTube.
Listen to Tia Coffey's Interview
About Episode 128
Tia Coffey, a life coach, operations consultant, and mom of three, joins us for a powerful and vulnerable conversation on what it means to untangle your identity from high-control religion.
As a former evangelical Christian, Tia shares the deeply personal story of deconstructing her faith while navigating a toxic marriage, suicidal ideation, and the challenge of reclaiming her intuition, worth, and self-love.
We talk about:
03:00 – Tia's life as a mom, grandmother, and her Enneagram
06:30 – The dangers of high-control religion in modern society
10:30 – Childhood trauma and fear-based indoctrination in the church
14:30 – Speaking in tongues and religious performance
17:00 – The purity movement and its impact on self-worth
20:00 – Working for church leaders and seeing behind the curtain
22:50 – Tia’s marriage, toxic church responses, and suicidal thoughts
24:30 – The life-saving power of therapy and critical thinking
29:00 – Deconstructing faith while divorcing and learning to trust herself
32:00 – Where Tia stands now with God, religion, and uncertainty
37:00 – How Tia’s most important relationship—the one with herself—transformed
40:00 – How to start your own deconstruction journey and trust your intuition
42:00 – Book recommendations that supported her healing
Episode 128 is for You If...
You find yourself asking questions such as:
What does it look like to grow up in a high-control religious group?
How can religious teachings create long-lasting trauma and shame?
What are signs that you might be part of a high-control religious group?
How does the purity culture impact mental health and relationships?
How can therapy support deconstruction from harmful belief systems?
What happens when you begin to question your religious upbringing?
How do you find freedom from the fear of hell or eternal punishment?
Can you still believe in God after leaving fundamentalism?
How do you love yourself after years of religious indoctrination?
What does healing look like after spiritual and emotional abuse?
Read the Interview Transcript - Episode 128
You can find the transcript here.
Links and Resources - Episode 128
Love Wins by Rob Bell
When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd
The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
Anything by Brené Brown (especially The Gifts of Imperfection)
Sponsors - Episode 128
Support for this podcast comes from Intuitive Bodywork TN.
When I’m not podcasting, I’m working at Intuitive Bodywork TN friends, and I love it. Intuitive Bodywork TN is a holistic wellness center with a peaceful, healing vibe based in Franklin, Tennessee. We offer services like different types of massage therapy with highly skilled massage therapists, Reiki, trauma-informed coaching, immersive sound baths, popular classes like yin yoga, chakra balancing, and book studies, and we even have a relaxation room where you can come in for red light therapy, leg compression therapy, facial acupressure, or just to meditate or journal. The owner, Laura Stendel and I are actively growing and building out the space to be a safe refuge for you with different forms of healing support. So come check us out soon.
Learn more or book a service at intuitivebodyworktn.com.
CREDITS: Original intro and outro music by Ryan Sauls. Episode creation and graphics by Brandi Fleck. Editing by Natasha Rivera. Sound effects from zapslat.com. Bio and photos provided by Tia Coffey.
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Hi, I’m your podcast host, Brandi Fleck. I’m a recognized communications and interviewing expert, a writer, an artist, and a private practice, certified trauma-informed life coach and trauma recovery coach. No matter how you interact with me, I help you tell and change your story so you can feel more like yourself. So welcome!
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