EPISODE 070 | The Ripple of Being Given Up: A Path through Closed Adoption
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I really think learning from adoptees about how they form connections with nonbiological parents is a good way to learn about human connection in general - the impacts of having it, not having it, and how to form it, even in possible trying circumstances while navigating trauma and strong, negative emotions.
That’s why we’re talking to adoptee Mike Hutchinson today. He’s a preacher, husband, son, avid reader, podcast host, and returning guest to Human Amplified.
On the surface of this episode, Hutch takes us through his closed adoption story and what it was like meeting his biological family.
Underneath, we really explore the interconnectedness of relationships, the impact of relationships on identity and emotions, and how they influence other relationships and life path choices.
Through this, we specifically discuss fear, struggling with rejection, bullying, finding ways to connect when differences are aplenty and in the absence of a biological connection, healing from abandonment, fork in the road moments where snap judgements have to be made, and the importance of your support system.
Through all this, several interesting points jump out at me:
Issues around fear and rejection seem to have rippled out from one defining moment Hutch had when he was 5 years old which sparked the realization that he was given away by someone. This pivotal moment demonstrates the power of our words in relationships.
One theme that arises throughout is how masculinity and femininity plays a role in those connections - at least the connections in Hutch’s life and his experience of adoption and maintaining relationships.
A subtle yet important take away from this episode is the importance of timing. Timing is everything. See if you can catch how timing helped Hutch’s success in reuniting with his biological family AND how he met his wife.
I alway enjoy hearing Hutch’s personality come through in his storytelling. He laughs a lot while we talk and is generous with immersive details. So, I know you’ll enjoy it too.
Note: Be sure to tune in on Thursday as we’ll have a special bonus episode that resulted as an extension of exploring the masculine and feminine roles that came up in today’s episode. In this bonus, Hutch gets real about his experience of and perspective on masculinity, his feelings on toxic masculinity in the zeitgeist, and society’s misunderstanding of certain male behaviors is impacting men and the role of men. Whether you agree with him or not, this bonus will take you on an intellectual ride as Hutch analyzes being a man and opens up his inner, emotional world.
Hutch with wife Tricia at a UGA football game. Hutch says, “Every success I have had in the last ten years has been in large part due to her.”
Episode Highlights
Getting to know Hutch
Where and when Hutch was adopted
What it means to be adopted to Hutch
The first time Hutch realized he was “given away” by his biological family
What a closed adoption is
The history and impact of Georgia Tann on adoption
What it was like growing up in a closed adoption
Reading constantly as a kid
Starting to explore the biological differences from his parents that were curious when Hutch was growing up
Math is hard
Getting bullied in school because of height
Dad having different experiences than Hutch
Starting martial arts
Hutch has a black belt
The difference in self defense vs. self protection
Having experience numerous concussions from martial arts, Hutch has spontaneous (cerebrospinal fluid) CFS leaks
Related: Embracing the “Be” in Human Being with guest Lynnette Henderson who lives with the severe impact of CFS leaks
How marching band combined with martial arts helped with discipline
Having outstanding musical ability
Being in church regularly as a kid
How Hutch related to parents when the biological connection presented uncommonalities
The importance of music, trains, and power tools in bonding with Dad and grandfather - connection through what they did
Reading and Hutch’s closeness with his mom and grandmother - connection through being
What it means to be a Hutchinson man
Having a good relationship with parents today
The impact on family of Hutch finding his biological family
The events and emotions that began Hutch’s journey to finding his family
Asking for non-identifying information
How Hutch met and found his biological family (including the role of Facebook)
What Hutch struggled with when he was considering contacting his biological family
What happened when Hutch’s bio mom called
What Hutch learned about his biological parents and how they decided to place him for adoption
The importance of timing
Hutch’s biological mom’s history
Nurture versus nature
The impact of finding biological family on adoptive family members
Hutch’s relationship with adoptive sister
How Hutch approached the sensitive topic of finding his bio fam with his parents
How his parents handled the change
Unknowingly crossing paths with biological family who lived an hour away from biological family growing up
How Hutch’s family welcome him with open arms
Hutch’s love story with Tricia and the importance of her support role in his adoption journey
How adoption has impacted Hutch and Tricia’s marriage
What meaning Hutch has found in his journey
Hutch at the Munich airport beside a statue of Mark Twain who’s most important works were inspired in Munich.
About Hutch
Michael Hutchinson, affectionately known as Hutch, is a student of reformed theology, host of the True Presbyterian podcast, is a ministerial candidate in the Presbyterian church, a husband, a son, a preacher, an inveterate reader, an assistant editor for a new release of the complete works of John Flavel, to be published by Banner of Truth Trust, and he has a self described unhealthy obsession with his lawn. Hutch has a black belt in Aikido and has past interests in various forms of martial arts and teaching combatives and self protection. He’s also an army veteran who loves to play and listen to music. He currently lives in Chattanooga, Tenn.
Hutch skeet shooting.
Hutch preaching at his parents’ 50th anniversary vow renewal.
Links
Human Amplified episode 051: Exploring Faith Part 1 - A Scholarly Foundation for Defining Faith featuring Hutch
Human Amplified episode 052: Exploring Faith Part 2 - Let’s Be Fair, Suffering is Normal featuring Hutch
The True Presbyterian podcast (Updated April 2024: This podcast is no longer in production or in working order so the link has been removed).
South Carolina Department of Social Services (DSS) previously known as the South Carolina Children’s Bureau
The Baby Thief by Barbara Bisantz Raymond
Charlie Daniels Band, “Ain’t No Ramblers Anymore”
