EPISODE 069 | Where Grief Meets Authenticity
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Each week here, you get personal glimpses into the personalities of each guest on the Human Amplified podcast, but this week’s conversation with Heather Burwell is particularly intimate.
In this episode, we go with the flow of Heather’s creative mind to discover where grief meets authenticity for her.
In other words, we explore the ins and outs of her journey through grief, which she’s realized is really her journey through life in general. We also unearth how authenticity fits in, especially for Heather, who’s religious upbringing taught her to hide who she is.
Together, we really get into how inauthenticity in human life, caused by a fear of being seen and heard, can keep you from recognizing grief for what it is, which in turn causes damage and more heartache. But we also talk about the peace and calm that comes with fully embracing what’s going on in your life and around you.
That’s where Heather finds herself in the present - embracing what’s real and fulfilling to her.
Heather’s not only a Nashville-based author, singer, and actress, but she’s a chaplain having graduated from Vanderbilt’s Divinity school in 2020. Her outreach focuses on being a positive vessel without judgement. In her chaplaincy work, Heather contemplates where God is or isn’t with people. You’re definitely in for a treat because we have a clip of an original song Heather beautifully sings on the same topic.
Plus, based on Heather’s personal experience of being widowed with a 4-year-old about 7 or 8 years ago, she’s written a book called Grief Doesn’t Do Math - it’ll be hitting shelves this spring. She reads an excerpt of what she was feeling in active grief and we talk about what prompted her to address certain areas about grief that she does in the book.
We dive deeper as Heather describes how to recognize grief and gives examples of how she’s processed through it while also supporting her son through his grief journey.
Then, we take a fun and unexpected turn into her love story and how that’s going today.
You’ll definitely walk away from this episode empowered to be yourself, empowered to embrace reality, no matter how scary it is, and you’ll have food for thought about how to recognize and process loss in your life, whether big or small.
Note: Don’t mind the few phone notifications that go off throughout the conversation. Sometimes it’s like that. If you don’t already feel like you’re in the Zoom room with us, it’ll only make it more… authentic.
Episode Highlights
Getting to know Heather
Where is God?
What grief is - the grief garment, worn like a cloak when your’e in active grief
How Heather’s and her son’s grief was different from the “normal” five stages model
Why Heather started down her own journey of grief
Miscarriages (2009)
Surrogate
Husband died instantaneously and unexpectedly (2013)
A synopsis of Grief Doesn’t Do Math a book by Heather Burwell
Why she titled it the way she did - there’s no formula for grief
Another way to look at grief beyond the five stages
Heather reads an excerpt from Grief Doesn’t Do Math
Feeling like an ineffective griever
Supporting her son through grief
The role of counseling
Keeping communication open
Keeping connection with family open
Heather and Brandi relating to one another’s common experience
Exploring grief as it’s tied to life in addition to death
What happens when people don’t recognize grief for what it is
Recognizing grief
How to deal with grief - own it and focus on what’s in your control
Sitting in nature
Practicing gratitude
What grief physically feels like - a dark, dampening blanket
Heather’s thoughts on the importance of authenticity and how she learned it later in life
Being ready for authenticity and facing the fear of being real
The involvement of religion in why authenticity came later in life for Heather
Loss and grief’s role combined with acceptance from loved ones in being ready to find true self
Heather’s love story
The peace and calm Heather experiences today
About Heather
Heather is a Nashville-based author, chaplain, singer, actress, mom, and wife who graduated from Vanderbilt Divinity school in 2020. She tries to be a vessel of positivity in all that she does, including positive outreach to friends and family.
Be on the lookout for Heather’s book Grief Doesn’t Do Math to release in April. We’ll post the link when it’s available - can’t wait!
Links
Go download I Don’t Know Where God Is Not, original song by Heather Burwell - a portion of this song was played in the episode with permission from Heather.
Learn more about Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who Heather mentions.
Grief Doesn’t Do Math by Heather Burwell - Link is forthcoming after release.
