EPISODE 065 | Peacefully Coparenting After Divorce Part 1: A Mom's Perspective
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February is here and romance is in the air with Valentine’s Day around the corner - a fun day for some, a dreaded day for others. But, what happens if the romance dissolves and kids are involved?
First, you probably question everything you thought about marriage or long-term partnerships and second, you have to navigate working together with someone who you just can’t work with. Or can you?
Our guest today finds herself in this very real and not uncommon scenario where divorce was the last thing she and her ex-husband expected, but they ended up needing to work out what decoupling would look like and how to best support their son in the process.
This episode is part 1 of a 2 part series where we explore Aly and Ed Rosenberger’s, what I think is, a coparenting anomaly, because they do it so well.
Today, in part 1, Aly explains from her perspective how she, her ex husband, and her now significant other work together to put the kids first in a peaceful coparenting arrangement that hinges on prioritizing the kids, trust, and communication. Aly doesn’t deny the difficulties they’ve encountered, but the way she’s fought to keep a cohesive unit is admirable and may we all aspire to this level of commitment and maturity if the time comes or if it has already come.
Aly gives us details - she tells us how she navigates relationship areas such as setting priorities, trust, follow through, communication, respect, jealousy, compromise, disagreements, boundary setting, bonding, and all while ensuring her son’s needs are at the front and center.
Since a big part of coparenting can involve divorce as the catalyst, we also dive into how Aly dealt with that relationship change and helped her son transition through it. She also opens up about including her significant other in the picture and what that looks like for coparenting.
Next week, we’ll hear from Ed, Aly’s ex husband and their son’s biological father, who commits to and follows through with this same arrangement.
An important note about today’s story is, if you find yourself navigating coparenting, it may not look exactly like Aly and Ed, but it is possible to coparent peacefully in a way that works for you and your family.
Highlights
Getting to know Aly.
The lessons that transcend your relationship with your ex
The process for reaching consensus on what is best for Aly and Ed’s son, Alex and the role of compromise
The best thing about coparenting: keeping the other person who understands what you’re going through with your child
Remaining best friends with her ex
Why the marriage didn’t work out
What healthy coparenting involves for Aly and Ed
No parenting plan
Family dinner night
A lot of communication
Shared holidays
Family support
How Alex is handling the coparenting arrangement
How Alex handled the news of divorce
How Aly coped with divorce and transitioning to peaceful coparenting
When disagreement comes up
Discipline spans both houses
Keeping respect a priority through communication
Starting to date again - setting boundaries and knowing when a new person is a good fit
Follow through
Coparenting with a significant other
The significant other’s role
When jealousy comes up
Thoughts on remarrying and marriage in general
Aly has a BIG, exciting announcement!
Lessons learned from first marriage
Benefits of Alex’s relationship with his soon-to-be step dad
On the other hand, Aly is becoming a step mom
Ed as a positive role model to Alex and Aly’s soon-to-be step son
Gratitude for their situation and acknowledgement that peaceful coparenting isn’t always feasible
Losing friends along the way
About Aly
Aly Rosenberger is a mom first, but is also an ex-wife and soon to be new wife. She works in data management at Cigna with a specialty in the Agile methodology and takes pride in her career. She’s an Army veteran and peacefully coparents both her son and soon-to-be step son with both her ex-husband and soon to be new husband.
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