EPISODE 072 | If You Don’t Deal with Your Feelings, They Deal with You
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Trigger warning: We do talk for a few minutes about abuse, trauma, being in the throes of addiction, and strong, graphic impulses that arose from suppressing strong negative emotions. This could be disturbing to some listeners.
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This week, we’re featuring guest Kevin Clark. He’s author of the book The New Prophet and is a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor and trauma specialist.
On the surface, this episode is about addiction and recovery. Underneath, It’s about how suppressing emotions leads to poor health, self destructive behaviors, and how spiritual awakening was a turning point. Kevin explains that at one point in his own active addiction, it felt like he was losing his soul and needed to get back to it. He then walks us through the tangible steps he took while being incarcerated to heal and change his path in life. To summarize, the three major points in Kevin’s recovery are letting go, having a safe support system, and having a desire to change.
We also talk about the social conditioning that led to emotional suppression in the first place for Kevin - trying to avoid feeling weak as a sensitive person - and how he grappled with strong emotions through his childhood, into his addiction, and into his recovery. In recovery, he started learning how to sit with his negative emotions and just be - be present as a human being, not a human doing, as he says - a sentiment other Human Amplified guests have expressed difficulty with too.
Kevin gets real about the gamut of emotions he’s felt and can deal with now, including sadness, fear, shame, numbing pain, denial, and vulnerability. But also, he talks about empathy, letting go of control, overwhelming gratitude, and the importance of being open and flexible to new possibilities.
Kevin has hope that we’ll be a more emotionally evolved humanity in the future and wants to see that.
Ultimately, Kevin is an amazing example of embracing emotions he used to fear, so he could have a different, healthier life path helping others, being with his family, and skateboarding. What’s really impressive is that when Kevin was at his most lost, he dared to think maybe everything he knew was wrong, and accepted help.
That’s bravery, strength, and an emotional evolution if I’ve ever seen one.
Episode Highlights
Getting to know Kevin Clark
Emotional sensitivity as a gift
Setting boundaries around empathy
Learning what belongs to us and what we don’t have to pick up
Connecting art and writing to emotions
Exploring the “man up” expression and why “emotional sensitivity” is loaded for men
What it means to be emotionally evolved
A shift in masculinity and collective trauma
The role of denial and delusion in numbing out negatively charged emotions
Kevin expands on what strong emotions he first became afraid of and why: exploring sadness, anger, fear
Vulnerability
The role of choosing safe people when you’re learning how to deal with emotions
How confirmation bias parallels with Law of Attraction
Developing shame and becoming uncomfortable
Turning to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain
Kevin’s addiction story
What made Kevin stop running from his emotions and try to get sober
The role of control
What happened when Kevin first tried to start recovering
Why it’s hard to ask for help
Details of Kevin’s spiritual awakening
Kevin ended up in jail where he started to take tangible steps to change
Clearly seeing the pain in others
Kevin’s recovery story - with tangible steps
Working 12-steps
Joining recovery program
Finding a safe person/people
Anger management
Going back to school to become a therapist and help others
Recommended aftercare
Sexual trauma group to deal with abuse
Reminiscing about Kevin’s safe people
Getting to emotional sobriety
What is false pride
The freedom of embracing emotions
What it’s like to sit with your feelings
The importance of an empathetic connection
Kevin’s wife beat cancer!
Kevin’s definition of “saditude,” which is an emotional outpouring of gratitude
All about The New Prophet by Kevin as inspired by Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet
Kevin reads an excerpt on vulnerability and intimacy
About Kevin
Kevin MacNevin Clark has found deep purpose through his work in the behavioral health field, specializing in treating addiction and trauma. He holds a degree in psychology and has been on his own path of awakening since 2005, getting sober and entering recovery in 2006. He founded Excelsior Addiction Services LLC in 2020.
Kevin is the author of book, The New Prophet and is currently working on a second book about the hard work he’s done on himself while deepening his understanding of the concepts through work with others.
He loves to skateboard and resides in Virginia with his family, living by his guiding philosophy that there are no hopeless cases.
Links
Confirmation bias (psychology)
The Law of Attraction (metaphysics)
The New Prophet website
The New Prophet on Amazon
The Presence Process by Michael Brown
The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
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