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Before my first “real” job came along, my young 20-something self was in despair. I remember asking God over and over, “Am I on the right path?” and agonizing over it. I felt like I had a mission in life, a real purpose; I just didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t see it.

I’d graduated college 7 months earlier, had traveled and worked abroad as an editorial assistant for 6 months, and even though the managing editor asked if I wanted sponsorship so I could stay in the magnificent UK, I came home and…was floundering.

In my basement bedroom that was literally 12 ft x 12 ft, I had my face buried into my pillow on a bed that butted up against a book shelf. A foot across the way was my desk with a clunky, silver, desktop eMachine. Do you remember those computers!? 

I was crying in my pillow.

My first real job search had a lot riding on it - what was going to be the foundation of my career? Would I enjoy being a full-time young professional. Would it be fulfilling? GOD, WAS I ON THE RIGHT PATH?

After asking that question in my head, I looked up and a red, spiral notebook on the bookshelf…and get this… flipped to the left so that it was lying flat on the shelf. 

Before you get too skeptical, the notebook had been stably leaning to the right for months. There was no breeze. There was no reason this notebook would have fallen. This notebook was a prayer journal my great grandmother kept in the years right before she died. (I was very close to Granny and she was alive until I was 15 and I still have the notebook).

I picked it up and opened to a page. Literally, the first page I opened to and started to read said:

“Brandi, you’re on the right path.” 

Granny had written a heartfelt letter to me before she died. I had never asked her if I was on the right path. Or had I just then? Message received! 

It took two months to find my first real job. And after that, it took even longer to get through the rigorous interview process and get hired on. And I needed money! I took a job that I knew wasn’t exactly what I wanted to do, but it was close enough that I could enjoy it and learn a lot. The opportunity came for a reason when others weren’t coming - this was in 2007, right before the economy collapsed in the mortgage crisis. 

Oh and by the way, the job was an entry-level writing position for a mortgage loan software company.  

Why Pray?

We know that when you set intentions, you’re more likely to take action toward the intention. 

Ultimately, even if you’re spiritual but not religious, prayer is a powerful practice that:

• Sets intentions with assistance from your higher power

• Builds a relationship between you and your higher power

• Reminds you that you are not alone - there is something bigger than us that works in our lives

What is Prayer

Prayer is a powerful method of talking to or communicating in some way with God or the Universe - whatever you prefer to call your higher power. Prayer is a spoken journal of your thoughts, fears, desires, hopes, wishes, and so much more.

God hears all of our prayers. But, you can also talk to, or include in your prayers, Angels, Spirit, such as deceased loved ones, and Spirit Guides. You must ask these spiritual beings to be part of your prayer - or for guidance - if you want them to hear. This is because your relationship with God and the Universe is sacred, between you and God.

(If you want to pray to other spiritual beings besides God, it doesn’t mean you’re worshipping those beings. It just means you’re communicating to them. Make sure you ground yourself and ask for God’s protection when you do this so the highest good is all that is allowed.)  

For the purposes of this article, we’ll focus solely on prayer between you and your higher power.

Religion vs. Spirituality

Prayer is used in religious practices and spiritual practices:

Religion

Religion is a man made system built around helping humans worship their God in a structured way based on human interpretation of God’s law written by humans in books. In religion, you follow religious leaders.

Spirituality 

Spirituality is a connection between humans and the spiritual or divine in which the divine manifests in various ways in your life through nature, relationships, and events. Spirituality involves guidance, faith, and possibly methods of energy work. In spirituality, you follow your intuition.

What should I be?

There is no one right answer as to whether you should be spiritual, religious, or a combination of both - I say do whatever works best in your life for helping you have the most divinely-inspired life in which you can joyfully live your path.

Both religion and spirituality have a time and a place. They both also have loaded histories, as most human ways of being do.

But, there’s a time and place for everything, right? I have spent some parts of my life in church and am friends with and related to several pastors and ministers. I have also spent major portions of my life not in church.

I truly believe you don’t have to go to church or participate in a religion to have a relationship with God/Universe and participate in spiritual practices that ground you, help you feel good, and are sacred to you.

You also don’t have to go to church to experience miracles. And if you look, miracles are all around you, everyday. More on that later. 

We could do an entire series on the differences and similarities of religion versus spirituality and the overlap and gaps of each. But, we’ll save that for another day. Just know that prayer can come as a religious practice or a spiritual practice. It can be used in both or one.

For the rest of this article, we’ll focus on prayer in spirituality.

Ways to Pray

• Prayer can come from your head, your heart, your gut, or all of the above.

• You can pray in groups or alone. 

• you can pray silently or aloud.

• Different prayers can have different goals or purposes.

• Prayer can be structured or stream of consciousness. I participate in all ways.

Types of Prayers 

You can pray structured prayers that have been used by humanity over the ages, or you can pray on your own, in an unstructured, what-feels-right way.

Structured Prayer Examples

The Lord’s Prayer 

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

This is one of the most beautiful Christian prayers - you’ve probably heard it or said it. 

Shehecheyanu

This is one of my favorite Jewish prayers.

In the way I understand it, it’s a prayer for new beginnings.

Many years ago, I had been living in London. When it was time to come home, I flew out to Oregon to be in a dear childhood friend’s wedding. It’s funny this is coming up now, because Tuesday of this week was their 13th wedding anniversary! 

Friends from all over the country traveled in to celebrate this epic love. As I had just returned from the UK and hadn’t found my first real full-time job, I was going to cut my trip short due to lack of funds while everyone else would go camping in the beautiful Oregon countryside with the happy newly married couple before they left on their honeymoon.

Long story short, all the new friends I met asked me to stay. They even offered to pay for my flight change. It turned out to not cost a thing to change my flight, but their generosity prompted me to check, without which I wouldn’t have done for a second time. Miraculous! So, I decided to stay and went camping - we cooked over fire, hiked, played frisbee, gazed at the milky way, slept in hammocks, played guitar, hung out by the river, and ate wild blackberries.

I ended up staying in Oregon for two weeks - even for a short time after the happy couple had already left for their honeymoon. To get back home, I had to spend a night in a friend of a friend’s house in order to get to the airport in Portland in time. This beautiful friend was so gracious and kind. And while at her home, I told her about what I’d be doing once back at home - job hunting. And she told me about her travels to Israel, about being a nurse, and…

She taught me about Shehecheyanu and wished me well, embarking on my path.

Unstructured Prayer Examples

In case you don’t know yet, I’m remarried, have one biological son, and have three step sons. At night, my husband and I pray with our two youngest sons. This is a tradition my bio son and I carried over into this family, because we did this when we were on our own too.

We say the same little structured prayer every night (you know the one - “Now I lay me, down to sleep…”), just like Granny taught me as a wee one, and then at the end of it we talk to God about whatever we want. It usually goes something like this: 

We ask God to bless our family and friends. We ask for forgiveness for what we’ve done wrong. We ask for healing for our family, friends, and selves when needed. We get specific about what we’re asking to be healed - physically or mentally - and for who. Sometimes, we include specific prayers requests that we’ve heard about throughout the day. Other times, we just come up with our own requests for people around us. We also pray for those in need and those who are hurting. And we express a TON of gratitude. We spend about half of our nightly prayer counting our own blessings and thanking God for shelter, food, transportation, A/C and heat, each other, education - whatever strikes us.

When I’m silently praying alone throughout the day, I ask for guidance; share my thoughts; and try to find the lessons in situations that have made me uncomfortable, so I can grow; ask for protection; and ask for peace from anxiety.

There have been times when I’m sitting in a meeting at work or watching TV with the family at home, and the need to pray hits me - whether it’s to say a quick thanks or ask God to provide comfort and guidance to a particular person. So, I just sit there and say a quick, silent prayer. 

No one even knows it’s happening, except me and God.

The Anatomy of a Prayer

Various religions have different rules about what should go in a prayer. But, I have a tendency to think there’s not one right or wrong answer. We’re talking spirituality but not religion here, right?

In no particular order, the full anatomy of my personal prayers are: 

• Addressing which part of the divine I want to communicate with

• Gratitude, praise, acknowledgement

• Asking for forgiveness

• Asking for help

• Talking about how I feel or what I’m thinking

• Closing the prayer in faith

I learned some of these parts from my Granny, but mostly, I do what feels right. And, not all of my prayers have all of these parts at all times.

All the parts of a prayer are important, but there are two that rank higher than any other when praying to find your purpose: the gratitude, praise, acknowledgement part and closing the prayer in faith.

Acknowledgement is powerful, because you’re recognizing how prayer and the divine are working in your life to help you find your purpose and true path.

Then, closing in faith means end the prayer in a way that will help it come to fruition and that cements your faith that the highest good for all will happen after you’ve released it. It’s the ultimate show of trust. Do it. Believe you’ve been heard and will be guided, no matter how the prayer ends up being answered. 

In other words, say “Amen.” Of course, you don’t have to say the actual word Amen to get the point across. You can say another word or phrase with a similar meaning. 

You can say, “and so it is” or “namaste,” for example. (Namaste is most frequently used at the end of yoga classes, but…) Figure out what feels right to you and your own relationship with the divine.

How to Use Prayer to Reconnect with Yourself

Simply ask God to help you discern what’s coming from your true self versus your ego. Ask God to help you recognize your inner voice and to reconnect with your true self. Then, listen to your true self and start taking action toward the truth that’s on the inside. Start calming the ego and making it smaller, as that’s what separates us from the spiritual.

How Praying Helps You Find Your Purpose

Ask God to help you recognize your purpose in this life, here on Earth. Ask that you recognize it and act toward it. Keep praying this. 

Then, and this is really important - be open to receiving the answer. Be open. Set aside any preconceived notions or limiting beliefs. Also, throw in some patience. Finding your purpose is a journey, and if doing so for you is anything like how it happened for me, little pieces of the answer will unfold over time and continue to unfold over the course of your life. 

Surrender the bigger picture and have faith that all will work out in divine timing.

How do I know prayer is working? 

If you’re on the right path, you’ll start noticing synchronicities, miracles, and feeling good about what you’re doing. 

(This doesn’t mean you’ll never be uncomfortable or scared, but you’ll know the difference between growth and danger. Growth is good discomfort. Danger is bad discomfort.)

Synchronicities 

Did you think of going back home to visit family in West Virginia at the exact moment John Denver’s Country Roads came on the radio at the same time a car with a West Virginia license plate got over in front of you during your evening commute? This is an example of a synchronicity. These happen when seemingly unrelated things all come together.

Synchronicities can be obvious or also subtle. Look for them.

Miracles

You can tangibly see the result of prayer through miracles. Miracles are occurrences that remind you the divine is with you - perhaps miracles are outcomes that never could have happened here in the physical world without divine intervention. Miracles are amazing.

Miracles have happened in my life, repeatedly. Examples of miracles range from looking up right in time to avoid a semi truck from rear-ending you on the road to seeing your guardian angel helping you out of what should have been a deadly fall. But miracles aren’t always huge and obvious. 

I think meeting a certain person at a certain time can be a miracle, depending on what is going on in both of your lives. Maybe a stranger showed up just to tell you’re pretty when you were feeling completely discouraged about 10 pounds you gained. Or maybe a Cardinal family nested in a tree in your back yard and seeing the beautiful red bird couple on your windowsill every morning brings a little joy to the start of your day. Or maybe your grandma just died and two weeks later, a rose sprouted in your garden where there were none before. 

Related: Episode 019: Death Brings New Life

You tell me. What miracles are happening in your life?

The Way You Feel

After you’ve been releasing desires, fears, requests, anything you want to communicate to God, through prayer, notice how you start to feel. Do you feel better after you’ve been praying over time than you did when you weren’t?

I do. This is a tangible result of prayer.

It’s normal to feel discouraged at times too. Sometimes we pray for things that aren’t meant for us. When this happens, in the right time, you will see why your prayer was answered in a way you didn’t expect and realize it was a miracle. But, before you realize a miracle was in the works, when you’re feeling down, just keep faith that your prayer is working. 

If you get discouraged, learn a little more about how to surrender to divine timing. Then, start looking for synchronicities and miracles to help you keep faith and trust in divine timing.

You Find Your Purpose

Ultimately, you know deep within your soul what your purpose here on Earth is. Praying can help you uncover it and work toward it on your own path. But remember - all in divine timing.

How do you pray? Is it helping you find your purpose?

Love,